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The current period signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your decision to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic act.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {